Billy Joel and Databases

Posted in: Technical Track

So, we have all heard that Billy Joel played a concert at Oracle’s OpenWorld in 2007.

What follows is an actual IRC conversation among Don Seiler, Dave Edwards, and myself:

(4:02:46 PM) don: ha @ Billy Joel at OOW
(4:03:38 PM) dave: “We didn’t fire the startup…”
(4:07:53 PM) don: “we didn’t start the backup”?
(4:12:53 PM) dave: “Don’t go changin’ . . . your slave and master”
(4:20:19 PM) ***sheeri shoots Dave
(4:20:49 PM) sheeri: “I don’t want clever replication, we never could have come this far”
(4:24:05 PM) sheeri: “And the server sounds like an aero-plane, and replication chugs along as it must…and the inserts go on, replication corrupts, and I say “Man, now I’m workin’ all night!”

(4:24:29 PM) dave: “I said ‘ls -u’ . . . that’s for access”
[“I said I love you . . . that’s forever”]

(4:24:30 PM) don: UP-TIME GIRL
(4:34:09 PM) dave: “Say it’s not wrong, execution plan!”
(4:43:39 PM) sheeri: Where’s my execution plan, oh man?
[Sing us a song of a piano man] (4:45:52 PM) sheeri: Go ahead with your schema, leave me alone!

Comment here with your own database-themed parody of a Billy Joel song. Perhaps if we get enough MySQL-themed entries, we can get him to come to the MySQL Conference in April.

That and maybe thousands of dollars………..


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6 Comments. Leave new

You kindly left out the 10-minute argument about Dave’s “Piano Man” attempt.

Actually there is a DBA-themed title that needs no adjustment: “Don’t Ask Me Why” ;)

For that matter, “Captain Jack” might apply too.

David Edwards
June 6, 2008 3:55 pm

I bet Steve Karam could pitch in, this is right up his alley. See his DB-related song parodies at

Justin Swanhart
June 6, 2008 4:58 pm

Sung to “I’ve seen the lights go out on broadway”:

I saw the server crash on Tuesday –
The disk lights stopped their blinking glow –
And still the powers down –
My disk flush hanging round –
In the raid controller woah-oh-oh-oh-oooh …

Justin Swanhart
June 6, 2008 5:06 pm

Oh, I can’t resists.. One more, to the tune of ‘downeaster alexa’

Well I am a db administrator.
And I keep my data stored in rows.
But they’ve outsourced my job to somewhere else.
Now I fear that it will come to blows.

I’ve kept my servers running all through day and night.
I’ve taken backups and restored them all right.
I check them for referential consistency.
No need to worry, they run while I’m asleep.

Now they’ve told me I don’t need to worry.
Srikanth will keep them running just fine.
My job it seems isn’t too vital.
Everything will turn out all right.

Oh ya ya yi yo…

Roland Bouman
June 8, 2008 4:10 am

We promised our binlogs we’d write…

And we would all go down together
We said we’d all go down together
Yes we would all go down together

Noam Kritzer
June 9, 2008 7:41 am

In the middle of the night (in the middle of the night)
I was coding in my sleep (coding in my sleep)
Though the firewall was down (firewall down)
And the client’s being cheap. (client being so cheap)

I was searching for something (searching for something)
Something geeky I lost (geeky I lost)
And the data was parsed (data was parsed)
And the backup’s been tossed (backup’s been tossed)…

I know the data is parsed but I look down at the keyboard and I smack my forehead.
I try rebooting but I get a blue screen so then I pound a Red Bull and then I wish I was dead…

In the middle of the night…

sorry for the lame tech details, but it’s all I got…


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