Billy Joel and Databases

Jun 6, 2008 / By Sheeri Cabral

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So, we have all heard that Billy Joel played a concert at Oracle’s OpenWorld in 2007.

What follows is an actual IRC conversation among Don Seiler, Dave Edwards, and myself:

(4:02:46 PM) don: ha @ Billy Joel at OOW
(4:03:38 PM) dave: “We didn’t fire the startup…”
(4:07:53 PM) don: “we didn’t start the backup”?
(4:12:53 PM) dave: “Don’t go changin’ . . . your slave and master”
(4:20:19 PM) ***sheeri shoots Dave
(4:20:49 PM) sheeri: “I don’t want clever replication, we never could have come this far”
(4:24:05 PM) sheeri: “And the server sounds like an aero-plane, and replication chugs along as it must…and the inserts go on, replication corrupts, and I say “Man, now I’m workin’ all night!”

(4:24:29 PM) dave: “I said ‘ls -u’ . . . that’s for access”
[“I said I love you . . . that’s forever”]

(4:24:30 PM) don: UP-TIME GIRL
(4:34:09 PM) dave: “Say it’s not wrong, execution plan!”
(4:43:39 PM) sheeri: Where’s my execution plan, oh man?
[Sing us a song of a piano man]
(4:45:52 PM) sheeri: Go ahead with your schema, leave me alone!

Comment here with your own database-themed parody of a Billy Joel song. Perhaps if we get enough MySQL-themed entries, we can get him to come to the MySQL Conference in April.

That and maybe thousands of dollars………..

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6 Responses to “Billy Joel and Databases”

  • Don Seiler says:

    You kindly left out the 10-minute argument about Dave’s “Piano Man” attempt.

    Actually there is a DBA-themed title that needs no adjustment: “Don’t Ask Me Why” ;)

    For that matter, “Captain Jack” might apply too.

  • I bet Steve Karam could pitch in, this is right up his alley. See his DB-related song parodies at

  • Justin Swanhart says:

    Sung to “I’ve seen the lights go out on broadway”:

    I saw the server crash on Tuesday –
    The disk lights stopped their blinking glow –
    And still the powers down –
    My disk flush hanging round –
    In the raid controller woah-oh-oh-oh-oooh …

  • Justin Swanhart says:

    Oh, I can’t resists.. One more, to the tune of ‘downeaster alexa’

    Well I am a db administrator.
    And I keep my data stored in rows.
    But they’ve outsourced my job to somewhere else.
    Now I fear that it will come to blows.

    I’ve kept my servers running all through day and night.
    I’ve taken backups and restored them all right.
    I check them for referential consistency.
    No need to worry, they run while I’m asleep.

    Now they’ve told me I don’t need to worry.
    Srikanth will keep them running just fine.
    My job it seems isn’t too vital.
    Everything will turn out all right.

    Oh ya ya yi yo…

  • We promised our binlogs we’d write…

    And we would all go down together
    We said we’d all go down together
    Yes we would all go down together

  • Noam Kritzer says:

    In the middle of the night (in the middle of the night)
    I was coding in my sleep (coding in my sleep)
    Though the firewall was down (firewall down)
    And the client’s being cheap. (client being so cheap)

    I was searching for something (searching for something)
    Something geeky I lost (geeky I lost)
    And the data was parsed (data was parsed)
    And the backup’s been tossed (backup’s been tossed)…

    I know the data is parsed but I look down at the keyboard and I smack my forehead.
    I try rebooting but I get a blue screen so then I pound a Red Bull and then I wish I was dead…

    In the middle of the night…

    sorry for the lame tech details, but it’s all I got…

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